TIPS ABOUT BOYS.

I present to you a collection of my ongoing 'TIPS ABOUT BOYS' series on Twitter. You're welcome in advance.

TIP: been played by a boy? Create a sculpture of him out of chewed-up chewing gum. Set sculpture in sink. Light on fire.
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 11, 2013

TIP: under federal law, it is not actually illegal to burn a sculpture of a boy in effigy. Caution: state laws vary.
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 11, 2013

Tip: invent fictitious boyfriend. Call him "Gerald." Tell them he works in insurance. No one will suspect it is all a desperate front.
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 9, 2013

Telling a boy you're pregnant when you're really not in order to get him to pick up pizza and ice cream for you is totes morally permissible
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 7, 2013

When a boy breaks your heart shine a flashlight @ his window to make a tragic shadow-puppet play onto his ceiling depicting your love affair
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 7, 2013

Tip: boys love it if you drive slowly by their house at night with binoculars.
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 7, 2013

Tip: stand outside a boy's house w/ a karaoke machine wailing "& IIIyyyiiii, will always, looove yooohooo" he'll definitely date you then
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 7, 2013

Tip: when a boy promises something & doesn't keep it, sneak in & wallpaper his room with drawings of you crying. WORKS TRUST ME
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 7, 2013

"I apologize for everything I say during this time" -what you should send to all your friends during the two-month window after a breakup.
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) February 5, 2013

Tip: if you're trying not to text a boy, just fling your phone into the toilet in a desperate self-preventitive measure.

— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) January 19, 2013

"I think the real problem is you're just not as obsessed with me as I am with you." -best way to break up with someone ever
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) December 30, 201

Tip: stand outside a boy's window screeching "You'll never regret THIS!" as you smack you own butt - trust me it works
— B.Rose (@bookwormbeaut) December 30, 2012